Stories of Transformation

I am 3 years into my sobriety with my sobriety birthday being July 31st, 2020. It took a lot for me to be able to say I am in recovery today—and a lot for me to finally get here.

My entire childhood I grew up wanting to be a teacher. I was also a “teacher’s pet.” A straight A student. I came from parents that didn’t drink, party, nothing up until my teen years... then my family had something very life-changing happen, and we all sort of handled it our own ways. My little brother was diagnosed with brain cancer while he was in kindergarten, and it took a toll on my entire family. (As I write this story, I am happy to tell you he recovered and is alive and doing well today.)

I soon came to realize I struggled with social anxiety to the point that I would not leave my house for anything. I choose drugs to numb all my pain. I became addicted to pain killers at 14 years old without a clue what they could do to a person. Before I knew it, I was addicted to heroin for the next 6 years; I became a felon at a young age, got fired from my own dad, lost some of my close friends to overdose, but none of that stopped me. My own mother had to go through the horror of finding me overdosed on her couch one morning, thinking, “That’s it! I’ve lost my child to addiction.” But that still didn’t stop me…

Running from every treatment center I got sent to, my parents finally did an intervention. My family talked me into going to California for treatment, and although I agreed, I ended up running from treatment after 15 days with one of my roommates. Then I went through the worst things I could ever imagine on the streets of Palm Springs, alone at 19. I was drugged and raped by a man I thought was helping me, and by the grace of God my dad and stepmom never stopped looking for me. They eventually found me and saved me from who knows what else; but my roommate that ran with me, unfortunately, never came back home. Sadly, she’s still missing to this day. THAT could have been me. I was the lucky one. But that wasn’t the end of the story. It was honestly just another reason for me to get high… Read More

Soon after that I decided to get sober from heroin, but I shortly moved on to meth, and let me tell you, meth is one hell of a drug. It takes EVERYTHIING you have. For the next 4 years I dug myself into a grave. But let’s be real--I begged for a grave. I always said to myself I would never be that person, let alone that kind of mom. My goal in life was to be a MOM. That’s all I wanted. Then, I became pregnant with my son, and though I wished with all l my heart I could stop using meth, it had a death grip on me. I couldn’t stop.

My probation officer turned me in, and I got arrested at about 4 months pregnant and spent the rest of my pregnancy in jail with no bond… but what a true blessing! I had to go to every baby appointment with shackles on my wrists and ankles escorted by an officer. It was truly humiliating—but another life-saving blessing. I prepared to go through my first labor alone, hand-cuffed to my bed, and I signed papers preparing to hand over my son after I gave birth. But a few days shy of my due date I finally was able to convince a judge to give me a bond and I was given the chance to have my son in the hospital with my mom and sister by my side. Another miraculous blessing!

I was on house arrest with a GPS monitor on my ankle--but hey! Freedom is freedom and I was grateful to be out of prison. I was sober for some time, but I was struggling with postpartum depression. I was really in a dark place. There were nights that I held my son in my arms while planning out my suicide. But again, I was one of the lucky ones.

When covid hit, all my outpatient meetings and support groups got cancelled and were no longer available to me. I did not have good “response” skills at that time…I became full-on addicted all over again.

My boyfriend at that time was seriously abusive—mentally, emotionally, physically. My relationship was very toxic, very dangerous. I eventually suffered permanent damage to my face, brain, and body. When finally free of him, I had to teach myself to walk and talk again. I became EVERYTHING I promised myself I wouldn’t. I was so unhealthy I could barely stand up.

The day before my son’s 1st birthday, cops surrounded my house for the last time. I knew it was my time… even though I would be handing my son over and going to prison soon after... but I was calm. I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t even mad like every other time. I was EXHAUSTED. To be honest, I prayed for that day. I remember for weeks prior I begged and prayed out loud on my hands and knees for someone to come stop me. I had lost complete control. My dear, precious son deserved better.

And now, not only do I get to celebrate my son’s birthday every year on July 31st, but I get to celebrate my sobriety birthday on the same exact day EVERY year moving forward!

I got out of prison. I completed parole. I received full custody of my son. I’m kickin ass! I am living my childhood dream of becoming a teacher, just in a different way now. I recently became a Peer Support Specialist in the state of ND, and I now have the privilege of encouraging those who are still addicted that there is hope and there is a way out. Addiction should be talked about. I share my story, my struggles, and my life with other addicts in hopes that they will soon see the light, too. After all, I was one of the lucky ones.

The GO Broken to Beautiful Foundation (the Prison Project) has helped me more than I could have ever imagined. I found this program through a friend of mine and got connected with Renée Dunn, the Foundation’s President, Co-Founder of the Foundation with her husband Jesse, and the owners of New View Concepts. Shortly after I interviewed with Renée, I was assigned Kellie Turley as my Personal Response-Ability Coach. Kellie is truly an amazing Life Coach, and I am so grateful for her.

Throughout prison and treatment, I learned many tools, but the programs were centered on addiction and the past—and not on skills or tools that would help me move forward on the outside. Once I got back into my community, I soon realized that I still had so much to learn--and I needed help—and I needed to heal. The GO Broken to Beautiful Program did all that for me.

The lessons I have learned have helped me become the strong independent woman and mother I am today. This GB2B Course has boosted my self-esteem tremendously.
And…through this Course, I even discovered my purpose in life!
I KNOW what I was born to do! (I am one of the lucky ones.)

The lessons are focused on forward-walking, and not focused on my mistakes and the havoc I created in the past. One of the great teachings from this Course is teaching how to respond better to life’s challenges. I desperately needed those skills and am so grateful for the “insurance policy” I have built within myself because of those lessons. When adversity strikes, I now have the ability to process through it in a healthy way. As an addict…this is a monumental lesson.

I am now an extremely positive person. Sometimes it even weirds other people out around me, but I love it! While going through this Course, I was able to make the definite decision to put my past behind me and not look back. My PTSD from the abuse and the rape was a huge setback for me, but after discovering The ICE Tool in the GB2B Course, I learned to control my negative thinking patterns and view my past differently. I went from being stuck as the VICTIM to a VICTOR!

This Course has completely changed my life!

I also started meditating, which I LOVE now. Meditating has become a daily tool of mine along with my gratitude journal. As I got sober, I struggled with weight gain. And guess what? The GO Broken to Beautiful Program can help with that, too! I am currently working on My Physical Well-Being lesson in the Course, with the help and guidance of my Personal Response-Ability Coach, Kellie. I am already seeing results and I am excited to reach my goal.

I could work on this Course for the rest of my life, and I would just continue to GROW and GROW!

I am so grateful that others struggling with the same things I did will get the chance to work on themselves through the GO Broken to Beautiful Foundation, The Prison Project, and the GO Broken to Beautiful Program. I am so grateful to my wonderful, beautiful, and very wise Coach, Kellie.

If you are struggling with addiction, with self-defeating thoughts and behaviors, with guilt and shame for all you have done, there is hope. Go through the 15 GO Broken to Beautiful or Badass lessons with your own Personal Response-Ability Coach.

These lessons can truly change your life. Trust the process (as they say in the Course) …and YOU just might be one of the lucky ones!

— JoLyssa K.